Wheels of Misfortune - introducing the team

What made you sign up?

• Chris - Start on a grad scheme, or drive a third of the way around the planet in a wholly unsuitable car, raising money for charity along the way - the choice wasn’t a difficult one. I also suffer from a crippling fear of missing out, so basically had no option but to say yes.
• Zac - I have a real penchant for years out, and this seemed the perfect opportunity to take number 3. I also like to see myself as a bit of a Ray Mears protégé, and so this should be the perfect opportunity to hone some skills.
• Iain - Eight years ago I was crossing the channel en route to a monastery full of peaceful, white robed monks and beautiful Swedish girls. A horde of tiny cars, crudely painted and stickered, honking their horns and flashing their lights came onto the car deck of the ferry. I immediately knew this was something I wanted to be involved with one day, and now I’ve finally got the chance.

What country are you most excited about?

• Chris - The epic Pamir Highway in Tajikistan, although I think after a few hundred kilometres of potholes, at 4,500m altitude, we may begin to question our sanity. The UK foreign office advises against “all but essential travel to the area” due to the proximity to the Afghan border and the total ban on diplomats from visiting the area. Hmmm.
• Zac - Mongolia, simply for the distinct lack of roads and truly epic landscapes.
• Iain - Mongolia. I would like to ride bare back on a horse, with an eagle on my arm, hunting small mammals for meat so I can feed my horde and kinsmen (AKA Chris and Zac).

The Pamir Highway

What country are you least looking forward to?

• Chris – Uzbekistan, where 45 with no air conditioning in the car or a shower for miles around might take its toll on personal hygiene levels.
• Zac – Turkey, for obvious reasons at the moment.
• Iain – Turkmenistan. There is so little to do here that Ashgabat’s carpet museum comes in at no.3 on Trip Advisor’s top things to do. It is home to the Door to Hell though, which is pretty awesome.

Door to Hell

What’s your biggest concern about the trip?

• Chris - The consequences at the Iranian border when they discover our badly hidden drone. Hopefully they will take our ridiculously inept choice of vehicle as a sign of our complete lack of threat to their national security.
• Zac - Sampling the local healthcare system of Tajikistan when Iain’s plan to wakeboard behind the car goes about as well as could be expected.
• Iain – Simply not making it all the way to the finish line (or beyond the M25, for that matter).

What do you bring to the team?

• Chris – An unlimited supply of optimism, plus I’d back myself to take down a tent in less time than it takes an angry local farmer to call the police.
• Zac - The ability to pass off as a bearded local man when Iain and Chris have to stow away in the boot to pass through the less friendly border crossings.
• Iain - Appointed as ‘hobbit’ chef, making sure we have our 2nd breakfast and keeping our food supplies topped up; I will have a frying pan and kettle strapped to my backpack at all times. I’m also an emergency first aid responder (theoretically).

What is your mechanical expertise?

• Chris – Beyond duct tape, WD40, and (at a push) a hammer, I’m pretty lost.
• Zac - Fashioning repairs for the car out of tent pegs and biros is a skill I pride myself on. Genuine spare parts are for amateurs.
• Iain - I know the very basics.

Toolkit ready to go

What rogue item of kit are you taking?

• Chris - Golf clubs, mainly to hit balls into the Door to Hell. Also, depending on the results of a thorough aerodynamic testing procedure, I am hopeful to strap a kayak (or maybe two…) to the roof.
• Zac - A full cricket set and whites. I’m looking to organise an Ashes series with the Australian teams taking part in the rally.
• Iain - An English tea set.

What’s the best road trip song?

• Chris - Rusted Root - Send Me On My Way
• Zac - ZZ Top - Sharp Dressed Man
• Iain – Whitesnake - Here I Go Again

What would be your dream car for the rally?

• Chris - Overtaking a yak in a DB5 has been on the bucket list for a few years now, although budget constraints may mean this has to wait until next time.
• Zac - A motorbike and side-car would obviously be the most appropriate transport for such a challenge, although unfortunately it’d probably be too tight a squeeze with three of us.
• Iain – As far as novelty goes, you couldn’t beat an old Soviet Lada 4x4.

Maybe next time

What home comforts will you miss?

• Chris - Milk.
• Zac – Real Ale.
• Iain – My own bed (or just any bed at all).

To keep up with our trials and tribulations, visit our Facebook page:

https://www.facebook.com/wheelsofmisfortunemongolrally/

And of course, the whole reason for this is to try and raise as much money as possible for our two fantastic charities. Please do read our first blog post below, and if you've got a few quid to spare we'd be hugely grateful:

https://www.generosity.com/fundraising/wheels-of-misfortune-mongol-rally-2016

The Wheels of Misfortune